When God provides us with abundant spiritual gifts and talents… we are called to use it for God. My life right now is perfect in the world’s point of view. Fresh out of university studying something interesting (fashion) and actually getting a full time job with benefits in the field that I studied in. I’m 100% sure it was all God. As I comfortably sit in the car I paid for and going to the office 9-5 everyday. I ask myself… There must be more to life then this.
There must be more to this life that God has called me to.
My deep passion is actually not fashion but what my heart longs for is to encourage people who are down and plant seed in people’s hearts that is of God.
God has given me the spiritual gift of exhortation - to come along side of someone with words of encouragement, comfort, consolation, and counsel to help them be all God wants them to be
Through God’s gift, I was able to lead a bunch of 16 year olds who aren’t friends with each other to share their deepest struggles about family and friends, comfort a non-christian friend from suicidal thoughts….
The phase I always hear is “I don’t usually tell this to people….. but”
A couple of years ago - this gift disappeared because this gift that God gave me .. i used it for myself. I felt burdened with the information I was getting from people. I didn’t want to care for these people who didn’t care for me. I felt my energy being taken away from me. Things people told me in confidence.. I had to tell other people to release me from this burden.
I’ve struggled with God in many issues in the last couple of years of my life. In this time i’ve lied constantly, I’ve disobeyed my parents, hurt many people’s feelings, lost many friends, and was succumbed to many temptations in life. After living my life in a bubble before university - I’ve fallen so far from God that I didn’t even know I was falling. One night I had a dream that I was climbing a mountain and suddenly tigers came out of nowhere and started chasing me. I started running down the hill for my life. My heart was racing and more tigers started coming at me. Suddenly a man (I don’t know who it is) comes with one giant Tiger and that Tiger starts fighting the tigers that was chasing me. I escape safely. I woke up. My heart was racing in reality. I was shaking. I had nail prints on my right hand from grabbing onto myself. I didn’t know what it meant but its been on my mind ever since. I think that man was Jesus.
Near the end of the 2011, I started praying. It was so hard to pray for longer than 5 mins. I had nothing to say to God. One night I was tossing and turning and God kept bothering me about something. Bits of conversation I was having with people started coming at me. Then a question….. Are you wiling to give up everything for me. I honestly said to God. No. I am not willing. He asked again Are you willing to give up your relationships, your career, your house, your clothes, your money for me? If I told you to drop everything and go, will you do it for me? Tears came to my eyes and I said I don’t know. Then I remembered the first time I encountered Jesus in Vision X grade 7. I said GOD.. TAKE EVERYTHING. I GIVE MY LIFE TO YOU. When in the world did my life become MINE AGAIN? When did money and having a successful career in selling the biggest lying products become more important than loving Jesus.
On my knees. I prayed. I confessed that I’ve held my life dear to myself. Lord I give my life to you again. The moment I said that…. Words flowed out in prayer. My heart was bursting and God gave me peace that I haven’t felt in so long.
The day after. My boyfriend broke up with me. When he did. I was smiling and full of joy because I knew from that moment on God was here for me. That whatever happens next I know that he will provide. Another thing was I reconciled with my family. I didn’t realize that this relationship with hurting so many things in my life. The friends that I’ve lost over the years slowly came back to me. I ask forgiveness to many people I’ve hurt in the past. To any girls reading this… PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DON’T DATE A GUY WHO IS NOT A CHRISTIAN EVEN THOUGH HE SAYS HE IS. If you want him to change. Be his friend. A dating relationship is so much deeper and can potentially cause a lot of emotional damage to you and him.
I am in love with Jesus. He fills my cup and overflows it with grace and mercy. My heart beats because I’m so excited to live the life he has planned for me.
My testimony has always been dull when I lived in this christian bubble surrounded by christian friends and family but now finally I have a testimony to share with you all. I live everyday with a joyful heart and find truth in the bible that I wasn’t able to see before because my eyes and ears refused to see or hear.
God bless <3
